Disagreements happen all the time, and almost all the time, whoever raises their voice first loses. There is a proper way to disagree, but even in disagreement, it is imperative that you take these steps to keep your cool so you can effectively articulate your point. Here is how.

Learn to Breathe

A lot of people say this; they say this because it’s true. People get heated and turn red in the face because they aren’t breathing. The next time you feel yourself losing your cool, take deep breaths through your nose (so the other person can’t see you actually doing so) and exhale through your nose as well. Doing this will help cool you down (literally) and prevent your temper from rearing it’s ugly self.

Have a “No Big Deal” Perspective

Honestly, don’t sweat the small stuff. I can personally guarantee that almost all disagreements are about highly trivial and inconsequential things.  It may seem like a big deal in the moment when everyone is heated, but it really isn’t.  The point is, life goes on. Yes you may get angry, yes that person may be annoying, but when all is said and done, it’s really no big deal. So, after you pace your breathing, clear your mind and take a big picture look at the whole situation. You’ll find that this disagreement is really no big deal.

Speak Second

If it is a big deal, remember to speak second.  This may be difficult, especially for you Type A personalities out there. But speaking second really does make it seem like you are more composed. Why? Because you are able to absorb what the other person is saying and it also gives you an opportunity to concoct a more effective response to the disagreement in question. Moreover, it prevents you from losing your cool and raising your voice. Because remember, whoever raises their voice first loses. So speak second and react to the situation presented.

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