PLANNING THE FIRST DATE

Okay, so a girl you find attractive has agreed to go out with you for some 1-on-1 time, now what? It can be daunting, but take a deep breath and let the good times roll, as this is the best part of being a bachelor!

But before we begin, know this; no one bats a hundred. So chill out, be prepared (make reservations in advance), put your best foot forward, and leave the rest up to fate.

Every time I take a girl out on a date I always make sure I have home court advantage; for love is a game.   What do I mean by home court advantage? You need to put yourself in conditions that you are most comfortable with and also where you have the highest chance to succeed.

Before every date, I map out exactly what I want to do and how I want to do it. The key here is to make everything seem casual, but in actuality, you’ve done all the batting practice beforehand so you’re in pole position to hit that home run.

Therefore, always start off at a place with drinks.

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I like to take my first dates to places I’ve already been to before. Yes, some may say it’s adventurous to take a first date to something entirely new, but the point here is to get her to like you so that more dates follow, so stay the course, trust me. I recommend going to a place you’ve been before for a few reasons: 1) you already know the quality of drinks you’re paying for (and you have to pay on the first date!), 2) you already know your place around the venue and the menu, and 3) you can sit by the bar, this way you make sure you two are sitting right next to each other from the get go. If this feels weird, then move your chair so you are facing one another, it’s a win-win situation.

But which types of places should I take her? Well, what’s wrong with a little noise to ease the anxiety. No, don’t take her to a sports bar where fresh college frat boys don their Greek sweaters, and no don’t take her to a quiet bar where you and her are the only customers. Yes, take her to a nice cocktail lounge where they play nice music, it isn’t too crowded where you have to scream but there is still enough noise where you both don’t feel uncomfortable with silence.

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Once you’re done with drinks, it’s time for dinner. Planning the right dinner is an art form. This is where home-court advantage comes to the fore. Don’t let the server at the restaurant dictate the night, no, you’re the boss, you do what you want. And this is what you want. You want the dinner to be at your pace. Therefore, I recommend going to tapas-inspired and small plate(s) themed restaurants. It doesn’t have to be Spanish tapas, but it needs to be small plates. There are many reasons for this:

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  • They are great for sharing. Just as you both share things about your lives, you guys are also sharing from a small plate of food, there is a subconscious level of openness in doing this; it’s psychological.
  • You can pace your own dinner, if the conversation is going well and you want to spend more time with her, take your time ordering. It beats going to a steakhouse where you have your entrée, eat, then onto dessert; small-plates/tapas-styled dining allows you to pace the date.
  • You can get to know her preferences and possibly even play some games. Have her order something she’d think you like, and you can offer to order something you think she’d like. It is a subtle and innocent way of flirting and shows that you are interested in her, if indeed you are.

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Dinner is done; you’ve paid the bill (yes you must pay). Now what? Well, if things are going great, then end the night at the quietest bar you can find. It’s not about background noise now, this is about you and her, this is the end of the 9th and you want to walk off with a homerun. Sit next to her, order a stiff drink to calm your nerves and help you digest your food, then just enjoy your time with her. Intimacy doesn’t begin in the bed sheets, it starts when you sit next to someone you like and just get to know her. She will feel this and she will feel appreciated by the effort you put in to the first date and your genuine desire to know more about her and her life.

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